Burnie Tales â€" Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures
- Burnie: I have something that I'm really embarrassed to admit...about television.
- Burnie: And it is for too long, I thought when you turned off TV it stopped
(Gus and Geoff laugh)
- Geoff: You're a fucking idiot!
(Gus and Geoff continue laughing)
- Burnie: And for YEARS I was so mad at my brother because I was like:
- Kid Burnie: When did you turn on the TV?
- Burnie: He goes: andquot;What're you talking about?andquot;
- Burnie: I said: andquot;It was...y'know whatever was on TV y'know Super Friends
- Burnie: andquot;And I shut it off I know because Superman was talking to Wonder Woman.
- Burnie: andquot;And mom had me go do something I shut it off, so you must've turned the TV back onandquot;
- Burnie: He goes: andquot;You're a fucking fool!andquot;
(Gus Laughs)
[TRANSITION]
- Burnie: Hey! It just feels like it's illegal to...throw out a-
- Burnie: -box of porn this big
[TRANSITION]
- Burnie: There was one time when, I didn't realize I was having Panic Attacks.
- Burnie: So I went to the hospital and they gave me a Potasium pill. And I said:
- Burnie: Potassium huh? Can I eat just a bunch of bananas?
- Burnie: She goes: andquot;No. It's a little bit more than just eating a banana. Try to be careful with potassium.
- Burnie: I said: andquot;Why is that?andquot;
And she says:
- Burnie: andquot;Because, if you take too much, it can stop your heart!andquot;
(Jack laughs)
- Burnie: As if that's not bad enough,
- Burnie: I had just swallowed the thing and I go:
- Burnie: Well, how do you know how much is too much?
- Burnie: She goes: andquot;Oh no! It's regulated dosage.andquot;
- Burnie: She goes: andquot;BUT, that's the kinda thing like potassium, the thing you just took...
- (looks around)
- Burnie: andquot;Whenever you hear about a nurse killing a patient,andquot;
- Burnie: andquot;THAT'S WHAT THEY GIVE THEM!andquot;
- Burnie: And she fucking walks out!
(Gus and Jack laugh)
- Burnie: You know like as soon as she turned around, she's got that fucking hugest grin.
- Burnie: That's probably the best part of her job.
- (Gus laughs)
[TRANSITION]
-= Subtitles by Ikiri Cross =-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atONpWAAtHU
Trump Rampage Continues, Republican Establishment Starting To Panic
>> WE HAVE A
HELL OF A CATFIGHT
FOR YOU TONIGHT, IT IS DONALD
TRUMP VERSUS THE REPUBLICAN
ESTABLISHMENT. THIS IS AS
IMPORTANT AS IT GETS, AND IT
TELLS YOU WHERE THE FAULT LINES
IN THE GOP ARE. REPUBLICAN
INSIDERS HAVE REALIZED, OOPS,
TRUMP HAS BEEN LEADING FOR TOO
LONG. AS THE WASHINGTON EXAMINER
HAS POINTED OUT --
>>OOPSIE DOOPSIE.
SO THEN JOE SCARBOROUGH ON
MORNING JOE SAID --
>>
SO NOW YOU MIGHT BE
WONDERING, WAIT, WHAT IS GOING
ON HERE? TRUMP IS A REPUBLICAN,
HE IS MASSIVELY RIGHT WING, WHY
DON'T THEY LIKE HIM? NUMBER ONE,
HE'S NOT GOING BY ALL THE
REPUBLICAN TALKING POINTS SO
THEY ARE VERY UPSET. WHEN HE
BLAMES BUSH FOR 9/11 AND SAYS
IRAQ WAS STUPID, THEY ARE LIKE,
NO, DON'T DO THAT. WE HAD
EVERYBODY TRICKED. THAT IS LESS
IMPORTANT, WHAT IS MORE
IMPORTANT IS WHEN HE SAYS THINGS
LIKE HEY, THE DONORS ARE THE
PROBLEM. WAIT A MINUTE, THEY ARE
THE DONORS. THE REPUBLICAN
ESTABLISHMENT IS NOT A SERIES OF
POLITICIANS, IT IS A SERIES OF
DONORS WHO CONTROL THE
POLITICIANS. SO WHEN TRUMP TAKES
A POT SHOT AT THEM THEY ARE
LIKE, WE DID NOT SANCTION THIS.
WHAT IS GOING ON? THE NUMBER TWO
PROBLEM THE DONORS HAVE, ON A
SERIOUS SIDE, IS WAIT A MINUTE,
WE CAN'T CONTROL HIM. WE ARE
USED TO THESE REPUBLICAN
POLITICIANS, AND ANY POLITICIAN
WE DONATE TO, BEING OUR BOY AND
CARRYING WATER FOR US. LIKE
SCOTT WALKER, HE WAS SUCH A GOOD
BOY. WHEN WE TOLD HIM TO DESTROY
THE UNIONS IN WISCONSIN HE
DESTROYED THE UNIONS FOR US, AND
WHEN WE TOLD HIM WE HAVE TO
CONSOLIDATE AGAINST DONALD TRUMP
AND ORDERED HIM OUT OF THE RACE
HE IMMEDIATELY BOWED HIS HEAD AND
SAID YES SIR, ABSOLUTELY SIR,
LET ME GET YOUR WATER SIR. THOSE
ARE THE REPUBLICAN POLITICIANS
DONORS ARE USED TO. WHEN TRUMP,
FOR BETTER OR WORSE -- AND I THINK
HE'S A MANIAC IN A LOT OF WAYS --
DOES NOT BOW HIS HEAD, THEY ARE
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AND
WHEN HE SAYS ON TOP OF THAT I
MIGHT RAISE TAXES ON HEDGE FUNDS
-- LOOK, THE REST OF HIS TAX
PROPOSALS ARE, YOU KNOW, VERY
REPUBLICAN, VERY RIGHT WING, IN
THE END YOU WON'T BE SURPRISED,
DONALD TRUMP WILL LIKELY GIVE
HIMSELF A LARGE TAX CUT.
PROBABLY PART OF THE REASON HE
IS RUNNING. BUT WHEN HE SAYS
SOME OF YOU GUYS, HEDGE FUND
GUYS, PRIVATE EQUITY GUYS, I
WILL RAISE YOUR TAXES BECAUSE I
AM NOT IN YOUR GROUP? THEY GO,
WHOA, WHAT IS THIS? SO WHEN THE
WASHINGTON EXAMINER, WHICH IS A
RIGHT-LEANING PUBLICATION, ASKS
THE LEADING CONSERVATIVE WHAT
IS THE REACTION TO TRUMP AND THE
REPUBLICAN ESTABLISHMENT? HIS
ANSWER IS MASSIVE RESISTANCE. HE
IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE. I DON'T
KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I KNOW THAT
HE DIDN'T SAY TAX CUTS FOR ALL
THE RICH, AND HE DIDN'T SAY HE
WOULD DO AS THE DONORS SAID --
MASSIVE RESISTANCE. HOW DOES
THAT RESISTANCE PLAY OUT IN THE
REAL WORLD? A REPUBLICAN
STRATEGIST SAID, THE ADS ARE
COMING. THEY'LL HIT HIM BELOW THE
BELT, THEY'LL HIT HIM REPUBLICAN
STYLE, AND THEY'LL HIT HIM A LOT.
HE SAID --
>> LET ME DECODE THAT FOR YOU,
THAT IS POLITICAL SPEAK. 10,000
POINTS MEANS 10,000 RATINGS
POINTS, THAT IS THEM BUYING TV
ADS BASED ON RATINGS POINTS. A
10,000 POINT BUY IN IOWA AND NEW
HAMPSHIRE IS MASSIVE, AND WHEN
HE SAYS SMART NEGATIVE IN IOWA
AND NEW HAMPSHIRE, THAT MEANS
SMART NEGATIVE POLITICAL ADS
AGAINST TRUMP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEY WILL HIGHLIGHT, WHETHER IT
IS THE BANKRUPTCIES OR
SUPPOSEDLY LIBERAL THINGS HE HAS
SAID. I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY ARE
COMING, AND THEY WILL UNLEASH
HELL ON DONALD TRUMP. EVERYBODY
GRAB YOUR POPCORN, THIS WILL BE
FUN. OF COURSE THAT IS THEIR
SIDE, THEY'RE COMING WITH THIS:
[NO SEATBELTS IN THE HOOD SOUND
EFFECT].
>>BUT TRUMP ALSO HAS SOMEBODY.
THAT SAME STRATEGIST SAID, IT
WOULD FORCE THEM TO SPEND MONEY.
THAT'S WHEN THIS STARTS TO GET
REAL FOR HIM. ONE OF THE
STRATEGIES IS ITS' NOT NECESSARY
TO DEFEAT HIM WITH NEGATIVE ADS,
ALTHOUGH THEY BELIEVE THEY CAN
DO A LOT OF DAMAGE WITH THOSE
ADS, AS I WILL TELL YOU, BUT
TO FORCE HIM TO SPEND SOME
MONEY. THEY THINK HE'S IN IT FOR
THE MONEY, IF WE FORCE HIM TO
SPEND REAL MONEY TO DEFEND
HIMSELF YOU WON'T WANT TO DO IT
AND HE WILL LEAVE. I KNOW, BUT
YOU HAVE HAD A LOT OF THEORIES
AS TO WHY HE WILL LEAVE, AND HE
HAS NOT LEFT YET. YOU MIGHT WANT
TO CHECK YOURSELF ON THOSE
THEORIES. ONE OF THE GROUPS
OPPOSED TO HIM IS THE CLUB FOR
GROWTH. I HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT
THEM A LOT BEFORE, THEY ARE
MAINLY THE ANTITAX MOVEMENT.
THAT IS WHERE THE BILLIONAIRES,
THE MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS,
THEY ALL PUT THEIR MONEY IN, AND
THEN THEY ARE THE MAIN ARM FOR
BRIBING THE REPUBLICAN
POLITICIANS. IF ANYBODY SAYS WE
MIGHT EVEN THINK ABOUT RAISING
TAXES A HALF A PERCENT ON ANYONE
RICH IN THE COUNTRY, CLUB FOR
GROWTH COMES OUT ROARING.
THEY HAVE ALREADY DONE ADS
AGAINST DONALD TRUMP.
THEY SAY --
>> THIS IS THE CLUB FOR GROWTH
PRESIDENT, DAVID MCINTOSH.
>> SO THEY ARE LIKE, WE KNOW HOW
TO DO THIS, WE GO NEGATIVE ON
EVERYBODY. HOW DO YOU THINK WE
BEAT THE DEMOCRATS? SO WE WILL
UNLEASH THAT NEGATIVE HELL ON
DONALD TRUMP, AND I THINK IT
COULD WORK. THAT IS THEIR MAIN
GO-TO MOVE. HOW DO REPUBLICANS
EVER WIN WITH POLICIES THAT ARE,
ACCORDING TO NATIONAL POLLING,
DEEPLY UNPOPULAR? THEY WIN BY
RUNNING ATTACK ADS ON THEIR
OPPONENTS. SO THEY WILL DO IT TO
ONE OF THEIR OWN. SO WHEN ASKED
ARE THEY ON THEIR OWN OR ARE
THERE OTHER DONORS, THEY SAID --
>> SO NOW THE QUESTION IS, WILL
THE BATTLE BE ENGAGED? THE
WASHINGTON EXAMINER SAYS --
>> SO THAT IS [SEATBELTS SOUND
EFFECT] COMING BACK AT YOU. WHEN
REPUBLICANS GET DIRTY, THEY GET
DIRTY. AND WHEN TRUMP GETS DIRTY,
HE GETS FILTHY. SO THIS WILL BE
A MESS, AND AWESOME. CAN'T WAIT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COHvPn-L6qs
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