Te Aute College student dies from asthma attack
The community of Te Aute College
mourns the loss
of a 17-year-old student.
The name of the student
has not been released
but reports say
the student collapsed
from an asthma attack
in the school dormitories.
Paramedics tried to resuscitate him
but were unsuccessful.
According to acting
Principal Bill Adams,
the boy was part of a family
who strongly supported the school.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvkEfepZiQ
Vlogging about mental illness, medications, and other boring stuff
hi im abby
uhm..
i've been kindof on a youtube thing today
looking at different videos trying to learn about different things :)
people are talking a lot about the controversy surrounding autism awareness month,
and it made me think and wonder about people in my life who may or may not be autistic or have aspergers.
And it made me wonder about my issues about myself because I've been taking kind of
a personal, like... mental health day for myself. And reflecting on this month
and my bipolar disorder, which is not something I've been diagnosed with- but is something that has been sort of ~kind of~ implied thing in my life
On top of the fact that I'm researching these things and I think they're kind of cool
I'm also kind of~ I started watching these videos and listening to people who have this really successful, normal lives... But have these very interesting personalities.
Because of their ADHD, or because of their bipolar or because of their aspergers and I'm just finding it really inspiring. That you can just be so normal and fine.
Because when I'm thinking about my mental disorders, I'm thinking about the things that I can't do.
Whereas, right now, looking at these videos, and reflecting on my life right now,
I'm more realizing the things that I can do :)
And excuse me if I'm being way too incredibly wordy... A lot of words
It's kind of an ADHD thing, but it's kind of a andquot;meandquot; thing, I talk a lot. I like to talk :)
I have a lot of ideas bouncing back and forth through my mind...
Yeah
Gonna keep it at that, trying to keep this as simple as possible without all my *blah blah blah* *handmotions*
So I have a large spectrum of andquot;mental illnessandquot; problems
I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist I go to now, she has diagnosed me
Panic disorder / Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety disorder
(Uhm , I guess it comes off a little awkward when I'm just talking to this phone, but imagine that x10, when I'm socially anxious) :P
Uhm...
ADHD
Yeah
And mood disorder, nonspecified.
I actually originally came into the psychiatrist because I had been talking to various counselors who
were affirming of the fact
that I believed I had Bipolar Disorder.
My psychiatrist, doesn't quite think I have bipolar disorder.
She... Hum... I have my life together a lot :)
I feel like, a lot of professional psychologists and psychiatrists
I come to them and say (I think) I have bipolar disorder... And they say I have my shit together too much.
And I kinda have a problem with that.
Outside of that, I really do like and trust my psychiatrist.
She's been really wonderful to me.
Uhm, hopefully I'm going to
see her this week because I have to have frequent visits to the psychiatrist
in order to renew my Aderral perscriptions
And hopefully once I'm done with the Ativan
Which isn't supposed to interact with the Aderrall, but I feel weird about taking the two together~
Once all that's sorted out,
I will start it again regularly. And hopefully i'll actually pass my andquot;duckingandquot; classes :)
Yeah :3
And... I'm talking like this, but...
It's really amazing for a person with severe anxiety disorder, severe panic disorder, and some attributes of ADHD and bipolar,
to tough it the f$$$$ out
as far as school goes...
I see so many people who are probably completely andquot;saneandquot;, completely neurotypical,
and they just drop out cause they were partying too much.
I partied more than I was able to freshman yeah and I passed all those classes...
(barely)
It's hard!!
But I'm not trying to invoke pity, just saying what's up.
I also suffer from: (other than what I've been diagnosed with)
Bipolar disorder symptoms, something in the bipolar disorder spectrum, although the DSM has narrowed the definition for bipolar
so I'm probably andquot;definitely not bipolarandquot;, how it is defined. But I myself, consider myself someone who exhibits cyclothymic symptoms.
Which is, kind of, known as the more mild form of Bipolar
I also suffer from sensory overload
Panic attacks
Severe dissociativity
and that shits' crazy....
And yeah, that's pretty much it...
Not much at all, is it? *sarcastic voice*
And, at one point, I thought I had synesthesia
But I actually just have olfactory (nose sense) hallucinations
Pretty normal for people who are humans.. people...
Like, if you ever smell rosemary? Isn't that supposed to be a scent that is really memory-inducing?
I don't know. I heard that when I was a kid :)
I don't know.
Uhm, fkkk this is boring isn't it?
Okay, what i'm saying is, I got going for me, I actually run my own organiztion
I run a meet-up group (well, it's been taken off meetup.com, because it was inactive for a while.)
A bunch of artists (and musicians, writers, whoever can create something), we get together a few times a year, maybe a little more than that, hopefully soon. Called Ideaparty Cincinnati.. :)
And it's really great :)
It's really awesome. Have a lot of good friends there- they cane to my 21st birthday and we got really drunk :)
*chuckes*
good f*cking people
And hopefully we're going to do a publication part of that too, that was a big thing, that was a big part of my idea.
I just kind of thought it up, dreamt it up one day. And I was like, this is my fucking calling !! :P
And I did it, I got to do it.
And other things that I have going for me: I have a pretty promising job-thingy.. ? Like, I have a job that I may be getting pretty soon
At a preschool, as a preschool teacher...
I'm a studio art major, planning on either pursuing my masters in art education or art therapy.
And I'm gonna be a little art teacher :)
At a little preschool :)
And I'm freaking hella excited about it. The interviewer really liked me
and we really hit it off
and good vibes. hella good vibes.
I'd also like to talk about (I feel like there's so much I could talk about with this)
I'm going to try to keep it under a half-hour or whatever.
9 minutes? I'm good.
And I wanna say, that because you have a mental disorder doesn't mean that things aren't gonna be good for you.
You're gonna freaking suffer,
I had a friend with bipolar disorder, before I thought I might have it,
And he was talking to me on Facebook,
He messaged me, and he said,
how are you feeling?
andquot;I'm feeling really sick latelyandquot;
He's like andquot;mental or physical?andquot;
And I say andquot;physicalandquot;..
And he says andquot;you are so lucky....andquot;
*laughs* like I think I had a fucking kidney stone
and it's just like~
But he has a point!
mental disorder you can't escape, you can't ignore (it)
you can't just tune it out
some people seem to think you can
but usually
you can't, it takes a lot of therapy and professional help.
And it takes (in some cases) a lot of medication
I have 4 medications
I do not take them all at once.
*Ooh! Rain!*
Okay,
So, pros and cons :
*I wrote notes* *sorry*
*skimming ma notes*
~noteessss~~~
noooooooottttttteeeees
oKAY,
Uhm, well, panic disorder / agoraphobia, there is no , there are no pros to that
accept it comes from you know, your body, trying to protect itself.
And that's like important and shizz
like, you gotta have some anxiety
in order to
I don't know, avoid someone who's gonna mug you?
*I don't know*
It should be there, I mean I'm on a little bit of ativan right now, but I can still tell you that there are some instances where you need to be anxious
and the funny (sad) thing about anxiety disorder is, it'll protect you from everything you don't need to be protected from
and it won't protect you from the things you do need to be protected from (like fear itself :P)
in most scenarios
And it sucks
something that comes with panic disorder is agoraphobia
and agoraphobia is fear of public places
and I don't have that, incredibly severely
but oh my goodness!
when I'm in a really new place
i have to be with somebody I love, I have to have water at all times.
honestly, next time i go somewhere new and exciting I'm taking that ducking ativan along with me
because last time... whenever I'm somewhere that's very new and exciting to me I get a panic attack
that might be a generalization
but, it's not much of one, if it is a generalization at all
or, I get really really excitable and crazy about it; which is the best case scenario.
That's kind of andquot;hypomanicandquot;, which is part of bipolar disorder, the andquot;upandquot; part
It's called hypomanic
When I get that upswing as a reaction to being in a new and exciting place
it's like andquot;hallelujahandquot;.. that's what it's like....
Because it's just so fucking hard to go through the other thing
and the other thing being panic attacks
actually, the last time, when I got prescribed Ativan
was the last time I had a panic attack. I was in this piercing salon I really like.
There was really steep stairs and jewelry there that I really dig a lot
this isn't from there, it's from there sister shop
love it
and everything about it just lifts me up
and the thing was, i had to get this stud in 'cause
easter was coming
eater is next weekend...
easter was coming up and I had I had a hoop, so I had to get this little guy in
Well, actually, I had a really tight stud
No, they put in this really TIGHT stud
it was really squeezing on me (it hurt a lot!!!)
and, well, it was after I walked up this huge staircase
like, huge fuckin' staircase
and I was like *breathing noses*
I was like andquot;I'm having a hard time breathing, Bryant, it feels like i'm out of breath!andquot;
andquot;Oh goshandquot; andquot;Maybe you have asthmaandquot;
And I was like, andquot;oh my god! I probably do!andquot;
I just keep having a hard time, even until she takes me to the piercing table
and i hope I don't pass out, if it's an allergic reaction or whatever
we didn't tell her about this
it was me talking to my boyfriend
because I didn't want her to refuse treatment if I was having a hard time
because I needed this little guy!
for anxiety reasons (sadly), my parents pressuring me not to
have the other jewelry etc etc etc
*booping noises*
these are a lot of different stories
I'm not very good at telling stories
so anyway, i ended up in the hospital
because i thought I was having an asthma attack after 3 hours of not being able to breath properly
and then, while I was at the hospital, everyone was really nice
and it was a really great time
except I still felt like it burned my throat when I tried to breath too hard
and then the doctor comes in
and, after i talked to all these people, told them all my issues
and he takes the thing to my back, the back thingy that they put on your back
he says andquot;breathe deeplyandquot;
*and I do*
and it didn't hurt one fucking bit
not one ducking bit1!!!!!!
He's like andquot;Okay, i think you've had a bit of anxietyandquot;
and i'm like, andquot;yeah, I've had a bit of that recently.andquot;
andquot;yeah and that, i think, is why you're short of breath.andquot;
and feeling like that
and I'm like andquot;really? that's a thing? it hurts like that?
he's like andquot;yeah.andquot;
then he wrote me a prescription for ativan.
that was the entire interaction with him
and then I was almost high off of the relief
and i just kept talking!
i said to this nurse andquot;IT'S SO FUNNY, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?andquot;
andquot;I'm so embarrassed!! It was just a panic attack!!andquot;
andquot;isn't that so funny?andquot;
She thought I was crazy
everyone thoughtI'd already taken the ativan because I was so loopy about it
andquot;I CAN'T believe it I can breath nowandquot;
hate it
*sighs*
now I have ativan
I hate drugs.
I don't like drugs. I take too many pills. What can you do?
I like it when they help me, and I don't like it when they don't help me.
and I'm popping' them and like WTF?
I'm putting all these chemicals in my body and none of them seem to help
but when I do have the right dosage, they do help
so, I recommend medication
i don't recommend drug. Drugs are bad.
*except marijuana
(if you're already stable and you're not doing all this other medication)
I recommend weed.
But, ~drug-drugs~, I used to be like, very pro-recreational drugs
but it just kind of pisses me off because
especially people who use address without being prescribed
or, I don't know... I guess the Ativan without being prescribed...
because people like, pop those, and feel all happy
floaty and calm-- it feels like weed to me~
honestly
but it just kind of bugs me because people like me with actual issues, can feel that fucking with our brain
we can feel that it's fucking with us, but it feels like it's fucking with our brain~ when we actually need
I take that Ativan, if I consistently take that for about 7 days, and I feel my personality changing
and i'm like, andquot;this is okayandquot; because if I didn't have this right now
then I would be flipping out and wouldn't be able to leave my house
'cause I've had that happen before
whereas, if if some people just take it for recreational uses,
it's just insulting to me
i feel like there are legitimate arguments, there are exceptions to everything
but it is just kind of insulting to me because i actually have issues
and i feel like the field is being leveled for me with adrenal, but, the playing field is not being leveled
the playing field is just being made *okay*
you know what I mean?
like, all the highschoolers in my brothers school take aderall and they haven't even
been prescribed
sorry sorry! I'm so awkward!
I'll make a video about art therapy, and definitely about
bipolar disorder and why you can ba bipolar but andquot;not bipolarandquot;
how you can be included in the bipolar spectrum but then not officially diagnosed
and also maybe the ethics under bipolar-disorder stuff
because i just watched an interesting video on this girl who was forcibly injected with all of these seditives because she wouldn't take lithium
and I feel like that kind of bugs me
i feel like people with bipolar disorder are kind of really over-stigmatized
(because there are people with bipolar disorder who are really over bearing and *dangerous*)
and also i really wanted to do a video on sensory overload, and all that,
and my experiences with my senses
and kind of I want to ask some questions about what that means for me
the fact that I experience things andquot;differentlyandquot; in a sensory way
and I'm wondering how it's different than typical andquot;normalandquot; people
or how it's different from people with aspbergers
or if it's different for people with like sensitivity disorders and stuff
and how it's different
for people with synesthesia
it's super interesting!
And then, I'lll talk about some other stuff ;P
I really hope you enjoyed my video :)
If anybody sees this whatsoever....
because I enjoyed recording it ^____^
and I like to think I'm a pretty likable person....
that's pretty much it
don't post bullshit
NYA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EnugxrPJM
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