You Are More Than Your Anxiety ft. Melanie Murphy | ChildLine - Anxiety Tip #3: Boundaries

You Are More Than Your Anxiety ft. Melanie Murphy | ChildLine




Amy: Hi I'm Amy
Melanie: Hi I'm Melanie
Amy: And today we're talking about anxiety
and how best to manage it
Amy: So Melanie, you've been quite open about
the fact that you've experienced anxiety
Melanie: The first time I had a panic attack
I didn't actually know what was happening.
I was about 19 I think, so it started for
me quite late in life. I felt like I was drowning
almost, it's like my heart rate sped up and
I felt really dizzy and you're kind of trapped
in your body in the moment and if no one else
around you knows what's going on it's a very
very scary thing.
Amy: Good point there as well about not realising
it was a panic attack. That's really common
for people when they start experiencing them
Melanie: And that's the worst part about it,
that's where the fear comes from I think.
Once you know what's happening to you it's
so much easier to manage it because you can
kind of challenge your mind then and say okay,
why am I having the panic attack? What are
the triggers? It was just a bit lonely and
isolating for a while until I started talking
and getting help for it. Most people do deal
with mental health problems at some point
in their life and I think we're all taught
growing up to bottle it, and not open up about
it and that's so silly because I think if
we all talked about it we'd suffer through
it so much less.
Amy: I think we'd encourage anyone who's feeling
like this that you can talk to someone, whether
that's a friend or trusted adult or even a
ChildLine councellor. Anxiety is normal - it
used to be a survival instinct for us. We'd
see a saber toothed tiger and then we'd get
adrenaline pumping through our bodies so we
could fight it off. We still get anxious nowadays,
we still have this instinct in us but it gets
triggered by things like seeing someone you
fancy or going into an exam or anything like
that.
Melanie: No saber tooth tigers around anymore
Amy: So when you're anxious things like your
heart rate will start to increase, so that
you're getting more oxygen in your muscles...
Melanie: Your mind becomes really alert. It
can make you over analyse everything so when
it would happen to me I would kind of over
analyse every other pain in my body. You become
hyper-aware of absolutely everything.
Amy: You get dizzy because all of your oxygen
has gone to your muscles rather than your
brain.
Melanie: I'd have to lie down. My dad would
have to be standing there talking to me. I'd
have to have a certain classical music playing.
I'd have to have lavender drops, and all these
things in place. It's an actual physical symptom,
it's not just in your head. Your body actually
does react. It's important for people to know
that that's okay, that they're not dying,
it's just a temporary kind of natural reaction.
Amy: And there's actually quite a few things
you can do in order to help you cope with
the mental and physical symptoms. So you said
then about lying down and classical music.
Listening to music is a really good one.
Melanie: Not so much having a panic attack
but just a feeling of anxiety, so I'm kind
of just tense and on edge. So what I'll do
then is I'll go for a power walk with my headphones
on and I know what kind of music to listen
to that will kind of bring me back down and
even things like journaling and keeping a
diary and writing everything down just gets
it all out of your head. It helps you to put
things into perspective.
Amy: Because you're feeling really tense when
you're anxious relaxation techniques can really
help.
Melanie: So much
Amy: Things like meditation or breathing techniques.
Are there any breathing techniques you particularly
like?
Melanie: What I'll do is I'll stop and I'll
breathe in for like 4 beats in through my
nostrils from my stomach, so you start the
breath there and then push it out.
Amy: So talk me through it - breathe in four...
Melanie: It seems silly, it does seem silly,
but doing that on your own, just go into a
bathroom cubicle, into your bedroom, wherever
you need to go. For me meditation is more
so just like zoning out and I find it easier
to meditate with music and stuff just to clear
my mind.
Amy: So what about distraction techniques?
Melanie: Reading was a big one, and I did
read a book about mindfulness and that's very
much about being present in the moment. A
wealth of knowledge out there in books just
about how to deal with it, because most of
us don't and if we're prone to anxiety we're
often worrying and we're living in the future
but just zoning all of that out and just focusing
on touching a soft pillow or something like
that just realising that right this moment
is all I have, the past is gone, the future
hasn't happened, this is it. It's very empowering
knowing that you kind of can cut it off in
a really bad moment. I've become very sociable
since I started doing things to manage the
anxiety and it's funny that you really can
live with it. It's not something that's going
to ruin your life.
Amy: I think that's a really amazing and empowering
point. People don't have to feel trapped by
their anxiety, you can live a great life.
So now we want to hear from you. What kind
of techniques do you guys use to manage your
anxiety? Let us know in the comments, and
don't forget there is loads of information
around anxiety and how to manage it on the
ChildLine website. Links in the description.
Melanie, thank you so much
Melanie: Thank you for having me
Amy: No problem, it's been a delight. And
we will see you next time.
Both: Bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AijlwRj6AUs


Anxiety Tip #3: Boundaries




Hi it's Vinny. And today I have another anxiety
tip for you. This one is going to be about
stating your boundaries. Now what boundaries
are we talking about? Well, I know most of
you that have anxiety might have panic attacks.
And while we have those panic attacks sometimes
we're not able to function enough at a capacity
where we can kind of communicate with the
people who might be around us.
I know for me personally, it's pretty hard
for me to talk and at times I can't even really
string together cohesive thoughts. Let alone
like trying to form a sentence. And if I am
able to say anything often times it will come
out as stuttering and it will come out a little
bit incoherent.
And I wanna say that while you're in this
state, it's really too late sometimes to tell
people how to help you. Because you could
be screaming inside for all you know for all
you know that andquot;hey I just want someone to
hug me or I need someone to just let me cry
or maybe hold my handandquot; but nobody's going
to know that.
And now this is where stating your boundaries
comes in. You need to talk to the people that
are in your life, whether being a family member,
a friend, you know a significant other and
basically set them aside and explain to them
what happens while your having a panic attack.
And what kind of things you respond to positively.
You know you're the one who's gonna know best
what things help and what things make it worse.
Now for me, I make sure to state that saying
things like andquot;calm downandquot; is extremely triggering
for me. I become more upset than I was before
and could actually cause me to be angry rather
than panicked or frightened.
So we don't wanna say stuff like that. Another
thing is I don't like to be touched. I don't
really, I'm not into physical contact and
that's a little bit less to do with my anxiety
more to do with my PTSD but when I'm in a
panic state I'm extremely vulnerable. So I
know most people have a tendency when they
want to comfort someone to put an arm around
them , to hold them, hug them I absolutely,
do not like that. And my panic will get that
much worse.
So you know I basically say like andquot;hey if you
see me starting to panic, you know, try not
to kind of touch me. Just kind of try to soothe
me with your words, so to speak.andquot; And this
is very important because it's going to help
not only the people that might be around you
when this is happening, but it's also gonna
kinda help future you to de-escalate from that
panic state.
You know, when you're you're up here you kinda
, you kinda can't handle things to the best
of your ability and you want to implement
these coping strategies but you just can't.
So you gotta kinda bring it it a little bit down.
Before you're able to kind of see if you can
do management of any kind.
And a support system can really be helpful.
So telling people what kind of words they
should say, what they shouldn't do, and shouldn't
say is really gonna help you out there. And
you know just let them know, let know if there's
something that will actually trigger you or
make things worse. You gotta set those boundaries.
You know, not everybody would know about me
that you know when I'm crying and it's getting
very, very intense that that I don't wanna
be hugged or touched or anything.
And sometimes I don't you know I don't like
people asking me questions it's just, it's
too overwhelming for me to think. I myself
don't even like for people to ask me to communicate
to them, because that's something that will
make the internal process that's going on
in my mind a much greater struggle.
So, just wanted to give you that little tip.
That you know setting your boundaries sorta
telling people like what your expectations
are and what kind of helps and doesn't help
when you are in a state of extreme anxiety.
You know it's really gonna help. It's really
gonna pay-off and I just encourage you to
try it out next time.
You know, like I said you know set someone
aside, say andquot;listen, I realize you've probably
seen things kinda get really bad for me. These
are the kind of things that help.andquot;
So I hope you enjoyed that tip for this week
and I will see you next time. Bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAK7Y3_xaZY