KASS IND - Ailee and Zendall "Missing" 12/07/07 Part 18 of 30

KASS IND




Because I've not been given the opportunity
to detox after Linda Cunt McGraw had Doctor
Sheldinor Khipple prescribing fucking piles
and piles of wrong drugs to sedate me after
she fucking triggered like major psychological
trauma after I already had neurological physiological
issues, bringing back all my worst childhood
nightmares!
This is going to fuck me. I can't miss the
doctor's appointment as Derek's what triggered
the doctor's appointment, that and Rick Ericson
and this shit is bringing back the worst childhood
fears imaginable!
Because of HP'ers engagement, FUCK! I can't
miss the doctor's appointment at this point.
I mean that's what triggered the doctor's
appointment, that and Rick Ericson with the
association. I missed because of what happened
last Sunday with someone kicking and knocking
on my door that made me so sick and terrified
that I didn't sleep for damn near a fucking
week!
Even the same day I told Derek Utley BEFORE
NOON that it was my day to be quiet, alone,
that I wasn't available, nor the friend I'd
asked to be witness to conversations after
Derek repeatedly violated my boundaries, attacked
my health, and pretexted me. I let him know
before noon. Twelve to twelve should have
been my right. TWELVE HOURS! I deserved that.
I deserved it.
I DESERVED IT! I deserve my 12 fucking hours!
Fucking hate this! It's 3 in the Goddamned
morning. I would have been fucking rested,
had a meal I'd prepared! Now it's sitting
out all day as I trashed and burned my home
during this panic attack when Hewlett-Packard
forcibly made their way to my residence, demanding
that I andquot;HAD TO TALKandquot; about Hewlett-Packard,
knowing from all my shares (as I tend to violate
myself and give my private information to
protect friends even like Bill Taylor and
Derek Utley who keep violating me).
I didn't want to be embarrassed with how I
had my bill spread out privately processing
nor how hard this type of thing really has
been for me since the concussions.
When Derek spiked yet another panic attack,
claimed he watched the video and understood
doing the SPECIFIC actions he took COULD LITERALLY
KILL ME!
This person told me they watched that video.
Derek Utley violated EVERY conceivable boundary
I've ever had, while knowing I was already
in shock, REFUSED to talk more about Hewlett-Packard
with him and that I couldn't do this anymore!
This spikes my BP!
I do mail for about an hour a day. This jerk
had ZERO right to access my personal files.
I do what I can. DON'T ATTACK ME, ESPECIALLY
IN MY HOME!
I don't want your help, Derek PLEASE, GO AWAY!
I've always had an admin for this kind of
crap, did you really need to embarrass and
humiliate me further? You've been doing this
for months already, asshole!
After I dropped my tablet (with 17 unsent
texts to Derek, literally BEGGING him to stop
hurting me, almost like a scared little kid
which is hard for me to see). I'd banged my
way into locked office (two whiteboards were
dedicated to trying to understand Derek's
rather manipulative words during recent calls
I didn't want to have, which he tricked me
into, claiming he had important personal news.
I locked myself out of my office, brand new
lock. I wanted a happy day of baking cookies.
Can't I have some food and fun and not be
anybody's bitch, not talking about Hewlett
Fucking Packard or Goddamned Sedgwick motherfucking
pieces of shit. I wasn't available to meet
today that I couldn't talk, I DIDN'T WANT
TO USE WORDS!
I was being quiet inside. And happy! I had
reconnected a little more with me. So, this
is me because I found these Goddamned incense.
Stupid fucking things. So, during my panic
attack, I didn't even care for myself, but
instead for Derek, who'd recently experienced
a loss and I thought the smell of cigarettes
would make this person uncomfortable and I
burned these incense, didn't even put them
in a fucking ashtray and now have permanent
burns, so every time I come to my sink to
brush my teeth or wash my face, doing something
to care for myself, I'll be reminded that
I cared more for somebody else than myself.
Perfectly not damaged thing I have to fucking
replace now? I've been scrubbing this Goddamned
fucking thing for 45 minutes now and it won't
come out, I don't think burns come out of
porcelain. I haven't even google'd it, as
most of the computers I have are fucking fucked
now and I don't want to take a chance of hurting
the other stuff. I wanted to get back to blogging
and writing today. I didn't want to use words
like talking. There's times I want to take
a break from it, as I don't get it often,
as every time, ever since over-pushed by Sedgwick
I don't have an internal dialogue and I hate
this shit. I shouldn't have to be reminded
of being violated by HP in my home when I
brush my teeth.
WHY DID Derek from HP do this? I don't like
people disrespecting me nor my rules. I pay
attention to others. I'm never the first person
to eat with somebody for the first time, I
wait to see if they say grace first. I like
to respect people so much.
Why is it so difficult for people to respect
my rituals and my boundaries? I deserved to
have that 12 hours! I've not gotten a day
off in over a year. This fucks up my whole
day, I wanted to have a day to not have to
think about Hewlett-Packard or Sedgwick!
I know Derek is intelligent, or at least thinks
he is, he has a damn sharp memory and must
have fucking taken the call that I spent two
days preparing for and waited for me to finish,
or took a list of what I shared as serious
health triggers as a fun sadistic task list.
You could have been a considerate person and
paid attention!
When I told you the other day too, that I
had to make another call to you that made
me so sick and then I told you I needed to
take a break from you. I said andquot;I'm having
a panic attack, please don't call, it will
cause seizuresandquot;. I hung up the phone and then
he kept calling back! It triggered SEVERE
neurological seizures!
DEREK UTLEY THEN CALLED 50 MORE TIMES!
I hate this. I guess I hate me but I hate
when people treat me like fucking shit, especially
in my home!
I'd explained to Derek on the phone, with
text messages, emails with GOOGLE DOCS and
even video, that he said he watched, that
shows how when people disrespect me, that
it can seriously damage my health. IT CAN
KILL ME!
This person told me they watched that video!
I told them LITERALLY, that this is the most
violated violation I could ever imagine experiencing.
Hewlett-Packard employees coming by my home
and leveraging manipulative con games to gain
access to my residence and medical information
without plans on a day of spirituality and
relaxation?experienced MORE violations since
trying for FMLA than my entire life to date.
Derek Utley repeatedly triggered neurological
seizures and panic and did this to me at my
home. What the fuck!?
Triggered
a motherfucking Goddamned fucking seizure?
Pardon me, pardon me. Pardon me.
If I say something hurts, why do that thing?
No matter what it is, if somebody says something
hurts, you have to respect that, no matter
what.
I pay attention to other, I deserve respect.
I like to respect people's rituals. Passed
out. Why is it difficult for people to respect
my rituals too? These are my boundaries, I
deserved to have that 12 hours! I've not had
a day off in over a year. AAARGH!
I don't have a lot of money and I bought this
stand to hook up some monitors as I wanted
to have a nice home office, I'm trying to
get this room setup forever and dropped one
of the displays.
I'm not even sure why I had those incense
cones, I found them the other day, and put
them in a drawer. I just want to have a life
for myself. Why would anybody want to take
action to hurt me? I don't know but I'm fucking
done with it.
I clearly stated boundaries. These are basic
boundaries, these aren't new things that were
invented, these aren't some new goofy things,
these are things that I have made real clear.
I don't have a lot of money. I've never had
to talk about autism before Bill Taylor.
I don't have people over because I like to
customize the experience for everyone. I pay
attention to everything.
These are my friends, the dragons.
I got silly things in my home. I like to disconnect,
and just play and have fun sometimes and not
be mister word user you know it seems that's
all I am now. I just wanted to play today.
I just wanted to play, that's all I wanted
today.
I felt so good when, coincidentally, @ADRAGON
on Twitter had commented on a food video and
that video encouraged me to be me more and
I felt amazing and I wanted so much to connect
with that person today who I've not been able
to even find time to articulate drug free
responses to their kind connections to me
on YouTube and stuff, which meant so much!
And how am I this fucking stressed?
Ten mother fucking fifty seven. I've not done
shit that I wanted to do today. I can't drug
down being disrespected any further. Period.
Don't shit on me people! Connect with me online.
Do not ever come to my home uninvited. You
do, you get a restraining order and a fucking
lawsuit. OK?
Do not hate.
All I'm trying to do at this point of a day
that fucked me out of everything I've planned
is to try to make my home look even close
to the way it looked but it's fucking impossible
journey because there's permanent burn marks.
There are no permanent burn marks on anything
in my home and never had. Let me try to get
everything but that Goddamned fucking bathroom
sink at least looking kind of how it did before.
Only part of me that I had left was a sense
of self. I need to get my home back. Till
HP allowed the broadcast of my private health
information, I've never had to publicly talk
about Autism. It says I'm very high.
Cats who are depressed as they haven't been
played with.
Please, do not fuck with my happiness!
Well, you've certainly heard of the chocolate
chip cookie, and I would imagine you may be
familiar with the Mandamp;M, both the plain and
the peanut, or even peanut butter.
But, what if you combined all of these things
together to create ultimate Mandamp;M chocolate
chip cookies? Well, I'm going to show you
something that you may not have seen before.
I know I haven't until today.
These chocolate chip cookies contain chocolate
chips and peanut butter Mandamp;M's. Oh yeah. Yum!
Are you a hot chick, do you like to eat cookies?
I got cookies!
Delicious. Just saying.
Dudes can have cookies too but hot chicks
first. These are my cookies. They're all mine!
Ahhh... COOKIE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j-TbTkOuIUandamp;t=73s


Ailee and Zendall "Missing" 12/07/07 Part 18 of 30




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all: YOU AZEE, MOTHER.
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AND U MAKE MELIKTHIS
IS ALL REAY POSSIBLE --
CH COMG HOME ANDPIKE
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TO BE NE JK AND ARGOING
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EVERYTHING'S GOING E
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FOR ANY UB
[PHONEG]
UH -- WÃTHERE ANSPONO
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ErLE HAD RIG TO TREA
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[FTE
Aidan: HWAIT!
Ry: I VE YOU SO MUCH, SPIK
I LOVE Y
AND'T YOU RRY O
YOU'RE GOING TO GET ROUGH
.
I OMIS
Erica: LN, I D'T WANT YOU
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'S ING BE BA.
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COATORE KNOW IT.
Kendall: ZACIS ALI.
I OW HE .
I MEAN, IF -- IF HE WEREN'
I WOULD EL IT.
I ULOW
'S JU -- HE'S T ERE
A HE'S HAVI A
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E'D ALL BE A L CSER TO
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Era: WT E YOU DO
Kend YOU KNO, MOM?
YOU' RIG. YOU' RIG
I -- I CAN'T JU SIT AROUND
WRING AND -- AND
WAITG D TYING TO FIGU
OUT WHA'S GOING ON.
THE ONLY WAYO MAKE THING
SO'M ING TO BE .
Erica: A WHEREREN?
ndl: AM GOINTOECLAI
LE.
AT DS A MN?F THIS, HUH?
[PONDGON DOOR]
dan: DO'REALLY GET MOUT
OF YOU, DO I
ú[POUND
Ain: WELL, THEANGESHOWS
HIS FACE
AT THE HELARE YOU DOG
HERE?
I TOLD YOU TO AY AWAY.
Kendl: YEAH?
LL, THS ME TELLI YOUO
GO TO HE
Aidan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY.
Kendall: YEAH?
WELL, THIS IS ME TELLING YOU
TO GO TO HELL.
Aidan: THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE
CROWBAR YOU GOT THERE.
Kendall: THANKS.
SO, HAVE YOU SEARCHED THE
GROUNDS AGAN, BECAUSE I AM
STILL VERY CERTAIN THAT ZACH
IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
Aidan: I'M NOT IN THE MARKET
FOR PARTNERS, YOU CAN GIVE
PINE VALLEY MY REGARDS.
Kendall: I AM NOT LETTING YOU
THROW ME OUT AGAIN, AIDAN.
I'M STICKING TO YOUR SIDE LIKE
GLUE UNTIL WE FIND ZACH AND
GREENLEE.
Aidan: THE HELL YOU ARE.
Kendall: NO, I UGGEST YOU GET
BACKO WORK RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE
THE SOONER WE FIND THEM, THE
SOONER YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO
SEE MY FACE AGAIN.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
[GREENLEE GROANS]
Zach: MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE
A BREAK.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
Zach: HEY.
Greenlee: OH, NO.
Zach: WHAT HAPPENED?
Greenlee: JUST -- I CAN'T
BREATHE.
Greenlee: I JUST -- I CAN'T --
THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME
AND --
Zach: NO, JUST TAKE BREAK.
Greenlee: NO, I JUST -- I CAN'T
BREATHE, AND THERE'S NOT ENOUGH
AIR DOWN HERE.
Zach: THERE'S PLENTY OF AIR AND
THE WALLS ARE NOT CLOSING IN --
U'REUST HUNGRY.
Greenlee: NO.
Zach: DON'T BE SO PICKY ABOUT
THE FOOD.
Greenlee: OH, GOD, ZACH, THE
FOOD DOWN HERE ISO GROSS.
Zach: IT'S FINE.
HAVE A LOOK, MAYBE YOU' FIND
SOMETHING YOU LIKE.
Greenlee: YOU'RE JUST SAYING
THAT TO STPACT ME FROM HAVING
A PANIC ATTACK.
Zach: HUMOR ME.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
eenlee: APPLESAUCE.
[GREENLEE GROANS]
Greeee: 50-YEAOLD INSTANT
COFFEE.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
Greenlee: FRUIT SALAD.
FRUIT SALAD.
MORE FRUIT SALAD.
HEY --
WHAT'S THIS?
I THINK I FOUND SOME OLD
LETTERS.
Greenlee: OH, WOW.
I THIN-- OH, WOW, I THINK
THESE ARE LOVE LETTE.
Aidan: SO HOMA OF THESE
LEADS ARE THE COPS ACTUALLY
PURSUING?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, AS SOON AS YOU
HEAR ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW.
BYE.
Kendall: WELL, WHO -- WHO WAS
THAT?
WHAT DID HE SAY?
Aidan: THE COPS KEEP GETTING
ANONOUS TIPS ALL THE TIME,
BUT NOTHING'S PANNED OUT.
Kendall:ELL, WHAT SORT OF
TIPS?
Aidan: IF YOU REALLY WANT THE
DETAILS, WHY DON'T YOU ASK?
IN FACT, THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
IDEA -- WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN
TO THE POLICE STATION AND TALK
TO THEM PERSONALLY?
ndall: NO, THEY'RE -- THEY'RE
NOT GOING TO TELL ME ANYTHING,
AIDAN.
BESIDES, I'M NOT LEAVING HERE.
I KNOW THAT ZACH IS OUT HERE
SOMEWHERE.
WHY -- WHY ARE WE EVEN STANDING
IN HERE FIGHTING LIKE THIS?
WE SHOULD BEUT THERE RIGHT NOW
SEARCHING FOR EM.
Aidan: WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO
DO, HUH, JUST RANDOMLY SEARCH
47 ACRES, WANDING AROUND?
Kendall: WELL, IT'S A HELL OF A
LOT BETTER THASITTING IN HERE
STARING AT MAPS ALL DAY.
Aidan: LISTEN, KENDALL, I HAVE
BEEN IN AND OUT SINCE DAWN, AL
RIGHT?
I HAVE A SYSTEM IN PLACE.
Kendall: WELL,HEN CLUE ME IN.
COME ON.
YOU WANT CHOCOLATE OR GLAZED?
ALL RIGHT, FINE, SUIT YOURSELF.
I WILL HAVE ONE NOW THE
OTHER ONE LATER.
SO, ARE YOU GOING TO BRING ME UP
TO SPEED, OR DO I HAVE TO CALL
DEREK?
Aidan: YOU WOULD DO THAT,
WOULDN'T YOU, HUH?
YOU'RE THE REASON THAT
GREENLEE'S IN THIS MESS, AND YOU
ADMIT IT.
BUT KNOWING YOU,ENDALL, YOU
WOULD STILL SIC THE COPS ON HER,
ULDN'T YOU?
Kendall: I ADITED TO GREENLEE
THAT I DID SET HER UP, YES.
BUT SHE ALSO ADMITTED -- AT
LEAST TO ME -- THAT SHE REALLY
WAS KIDNAPPING MY SON THAT FIRST
TIME -- YEAH, YOUR GLFRIEND.
SO, YOU CAN LOVE A FELON,
U CAN WO WITH E.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
Aidan: SAY I DO ALLOW THIS.
APART FROM A MAJOR ATTITUDE AND
A FEW DOUGHNUTS, WHAT DO YOU
REALLY BRINGO THE TABLE,
KENDALL?
Kendall: A PREMATURE SON JUST
BROUGHT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL,
WHO IS MISSING OUT ON CRITICAL
MOMENTS WITH HIS AD.
I GOT ANOTHER SON WHO'S GETTING
READY TO GO IN FOR SURGERY.
ZACH AND I JUST BOUGHT A HOME
TOGETHER, AIDAN.
WE'RE -- WE'RE PNNING OUR
FUTURE FOR OURSELVES AND OUR
CHILDREN, AND SUDDENLY HE'S
NOT HERE TO BE A PART OF IT.
NO ONE -- NO ONE IS MORE
INVESTED IN BRINGING HIM HOME
THAN I AM -- THAT'S WHAT I BRING
TO THETABLE.
Aidan: ALL RIGHT, WHAT'D YOU
LEAVE ME -- GLAZED?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5xE2ec4oM