Ailee and Zendall "Missing" 12/07/07 Part 18 of 30 - Anxiety Tip #3: Boundaries

Ailee and Zendall "Missing" 12/07/07 Part 18 of 30




RyanYOU HAVEY DAY
NG U
U .
THDOORS ARGG
U AGAIN,
A'RE NG TO HELPOU HEAR
AGAIN.
T DON'T RRY YO'REO
ING @NE IN TRELL BY
URSE.
AMOI TO BEITH YO
'ING TOTH YOUOR
ERSENDHAEY LET
OK
IS YOUR MOM.
YOT TO A BE
TRA BRAVFOUR MOM,
OUGH, OK, CAUSE SHE'S--
WELL, YOQPER DAD, ZACH-
SOMEACE ANNDOUMO$E'S
MISSES HIM VERY, VERMU
T I NTOUO OW TT
HEOV YOU AS MU AS D
D VERY SOO VY SOON HE'S
GOING TOBACC A HE'S GOG
TO TELL YOU ATIMSELF.
H'GOG TOELYOQAT
LOYOU, OK?
all: YOU AZEE, MOTHER.
YOGI ME SO MH STRENGTH
AND U MAKE MELIKTHIS
IS ALL REAY POSSIBLE --
CH COMG HOME ANDPIKE
HEARINAGAIN.
I IANU HAVE DONE SO MUCH
FOME, BUIT'S COSTOUACK.
TO BE NE JK AND ARGOING
SOOAS ZACEE
FOUND, TI K JACB A I
ARE ING E FINE
EVERYTHING'S GOING E
Kendall: I DO'OG
FOR ANY UB
[PHONEG]
UH -- WÃTHERE ANSPONO
NO -- L RIGHT.
WHE,USA FEW MINUTES D --E
AND WE'LL GO OF THE LINEUP
THEN AT THE.
, BY
SOIEOLISOI TO RECOND
RY, RYVE SOO
ndOUNO?
I DON'T REALLYLA AID F
ErLE HAD RIG TO TREA
KE THAT.
ndall: YEA WELL,E WAS JU
STDI UP FOR THE MATHAT
HEES
THAT'S EXAC WHAT ZAH
WOD' DONE FOME
ANHE- HE MAD ANRY A
HE REALLY CKED IE BUT
N LVING GREENLEE THAT MUC
WAS TU.
O
I JUST WANT TOALK TO Y.
[FTE
Aidan: HWAIT!
Ry: I VE YOU SO MUCH, SPIK
I LOVE Y
AND'T YOU RRY O
YOU'RE GOING TO GET ROUGH
.
I OMIS
Erica: LN, I D'T WANT YOU
T GE FTH
'S ING BE BA.
H'INTO BE WEING TAT
COATORE KNOW IT.
Kendall: ZACIS ALI.
I OW HE .
I MEAN, IF -- IF HE WEREN'
I WOULD EL IT.
I ULOW
'S JU -- HE'S T ERE
A HE'S HAVI A
HARD GETTG CK TME.
Eric IWISH THAJ.R. WOU
REI@ER WHAHE DID TT NIGHT.
E'D ALL BE A L CSER TO
FINDING ZACH
Kendal J.R. UL TJIL
FOR AL THIS TIME.
IS IS WAT I'TALKING AB
I MEAN, W COULD AL OUR
LIS T BEFFTEBY THI
ERE'S SOANPEOPLE.
MY THINGSAVENED.
AND 'VE ALL GIVENLENTY OF
.
AND ARE WAR

IDE DND
URNED
S ONOL
HONEINGS

Era: WT E YOU DO
Kend YOU KNO, MOM?
YOU' RIG. YOU' RIG
I -- I CAN'T JU SIT AROUND
WRING AND -- AND
WAITG D TYING TO FIGU
OUT WHA'S GOING ON.
THE ONLY WAYO MAKE THING
SO'M ING TO BE .
Erica: A WHEREREN?
ndl: AM GOINTOECLAI
LE.
AT DS A MN?F THIS, HUH?
[PONDGON DOOR]
dan: DO'REALLY GET MOUT
OF YOU, DO I
ú[POUND
Ain: WELL, THEANGESHOWS
HIS FACE
AT THE HELARE YOU DOG
HERE?
I TOLD YOU TO AY AWAY.
Kendl: YEAH?
LL, THS ME TELLI YOUO
GO TO HE
Aidan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY.
Kendall: YEAH?
WELL, THIS IS ME TELLING YOU
TO GO TO HELL.
Aidan: THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE
CROWBAR YOU GOT THERE.
Kendall: THANKS.
SO, HAVE YOU SEARCHED THE
GROUNDS AGAN, BECAUSE I AM
STILL VERY CERTAIN THAT ZACH
IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
Aidan: I'M NOT IN THE MARKET
FOR PARTNERS, YOU CAN GIVE
PINE VALLEY MY REGARDS.
Kendall: I AM NOT LETTING YOU
THROW ME OUT AGAIN, AIDAN.
I'M STICKING TO YOUR SIDE LIKE
GLUE UNTIL WE FIND ZACH AND
GREENLEE.
Aidan: THE HELL YOU ARE.
Kendall: NO, I UGGEST YOU GET
BACKO WORK RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE
THE SOONER WE FIND THEM, THE
SOONER YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO
SEE MY FACE AGAIN.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
[GREENLEE GROANS]
Zach: MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE
A BREAK.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
Zach: HEY.
Greenlee: OH, NO.
Zach: WHAT HAPPENED?
Greenlee: JUST -- I CAN'T
BREATHE.
Greenlee: I JUST -- I CAN'T --
THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME
AND --
Zach: NO, JUST TAKE BREAK.
Greenlee: NO, I JUST -- I CAN'T
BREATHE, AND THERE'S NOT ENOUGH
AIR DOWN HERE.
Zach: THERE'S PLENTY OF AIR AND
THE WALLS ARE NOT CLOSING IN --
U'REUST HUNGRY.
Greenlee: NO.
Zach: DON'T BE SO PICKY ABOUT
THE FOOD.
Greenlee: OH, GOD, ZACH, THE
FOOD DOWN HERE ISO GROSS.
Zach: IT'S FINE.
HAVE A LOOK, MAYBE YOU' FIND
SOMETHING YOU LIKE.
Greenlee: YOU'RE JUST SAYING
THAT TO STPACT ME FROM HAVING
A PANIC ATTACK.
Zach: HUMOR ME.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
eenlee: APPLESAUCE.
[GREENLEE GROANS]
Greeee: 50-YEAOLD INSTANT
COFFEE.
[GREENLEE COUGHS]
Greenlee: FRUIT SALAD.
FRUIT SALAD.
MORE FRUIT SALAD.
HEY --
WHAT'S THIS?
I THINK I FOUND SOME OLD
LETTERS.
Greenlee: OH, WOW.
I THIN-- OH, WOW, I THINK
THESE ARE LOVE LETTE.
Aidan: SO HOMA OF THESE
LEADS ARE THE COPS ACTUALLY
PURSUING?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, AS SOON AS YOU
HEAR ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW.
BYE.
Kendall: WELL, WHO -- WHO WAS
THAT?
WHAT DID HE SAY?
Aidan: THE COPS KEEP GETTING
ANONOUS TIPS ALL THE TIME,
BUT NOTHING'S PANNED OUT.
Kendall:ELL, WHAT SORT OF
TIPS?
Aidan: IF YOU REALLY WANT THE
DETAILS, WHY DON'T YOU ASK?
IN FACT, THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
IDEA -- WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN
TO THE POLICE STATION AND TALK
TO THEM PERSONALLY?
ndall: NO, THEY'RE -- THEY'RE
NOT GOING TO TELL ME ANYTHING,
AIDAN.
BESIDES, I'M NOT LEAVING HERE.
I KNOW THAT ZACH IS OUT HERE
SOMEWHERE.
WHY -- WHY ARE WE EVEN STANDING
IN HERE FIGHTING LIKE THIS?
WE SHOULD BEUT THERE RIGHT NOW
SEARCHING FOR EM.
Aidan: WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO
DO, HUH, JUST RANDOMLY SEARCH
47 ACRES, WANDING AROUND?
Kendall: WELL, IT'S A HELL OF A
LOT BETTER THASITTING IN HERE
STARING AT MAPS ALL DAY.
Aidan: LISTEN, KENDALL, I HAVE
BEEN IN AND OUT SINCE DAWN, AL
RIGHT?
I HAVE A SYSTEM IN PLACE.
Kendall: WELL,HEN CLUE ME IN.
COME ON.
YOU WANT CHOCOLATE OR GLAZED?
ALL RIGHT, FINE, SUIT YOURSELF.
I WILL HAVE ONE NOW THE
OTHER ONE LATER.
SO, ARE YOU GOING TO BRING ME UP
TO SPEED, OR DO I HAVE TO CALL
DEREK?
Aidan: YOU WOULD DO THAT,
WOULDN'T YOU, HUH?
YOU'RE THE REASON THAT
GREENLEE'S IN THIS MESS, AND YOU
ADMIT IT.
BUT KNOWING YOU,ENDALL, YOU
WOULD STILL SIC THE COPS ON HER,
ULDN'T YOU?
Kendall: I ADITED TO GREENLEE
THAT I DID SET HER UP, YES.
BUT SHE ALSO ADMITTED -- AT
LEAST TO ME -- THAT SHE REALLY
WAS KIDNAPPING MY SON THAT FIRST
TIME -- YEAH, YOUR GLFRIEND.
SO, YOU CAN LOVE A FELON,
U CAN WO WITH E.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
Aidan: SAY I DO ALLOW THIS.
APART FROM A MAJOR ATTITUDE AND
A FEW DOUGHNUTS, WHAT DO YOU
REALLY BRINGO THE TABLE,
KENDALL?
Kendall: A PREMATURE SON JUST
BROUGHT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL,
WHO IS MISSING OUT ON CRITICAL
MOMENTS WITH HIS AD.
I GOT ANOTHER SON WHO'S GETTING
READY TO GO IN FOR SURGERY.
ZACH AND I JUST BOUGHT A HOME
TOGETHER, AIDAN.
WE'RE -- WE'RE PNNING OUR
FUTURE FOR OURSELVES AND OUR
CHILDREN, AND SUDDENLY HE'S
NOT HERE TO BE A PART OF IT.
NO ONE -- NO ONE IS MORE
INVESTED IN BRINGING HIM HOME
THAN I AM -- THAT'S WHAT I BRING
TO THETABLE.
Aidan: ALL RIGHT, WHAT'D YOU
LEAVE ME -- GLAZED?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU5xE2ec4oM


Anxiety Tip #3: Boundaries




Hi it's Vinny. And today I have another anxiety
tip for you. This one is going to be about
stating your boundaries. Now what boundaries
are we talking about? Well, I know most of
you that have anxiety might have panic attacks.
And while we have those panic attacks sometimes
we're not able to function enough at a capacity
where we can kind of communicate with the
people who might be around us.
I know for me personally, it's pretty hard
for me to talk and at times I can't even really
string together cohesive thoughts. Let alone
like trying to form a sentence. And if I am
able to say anything often times it will come
out as stuttering and it will come out a little
bit incoherent.
And I wanna say that while you're in this
state, it's really too late sometimes to tell
people how to help you. Because you could
be screaming inside for all you know for all
you know that andquot;hey I just want someone to
hug me or I need someone to just let me cry
or maybe hold my handandquot; but nobody's going
to know that.
And now this is where stating your boundaries
comes in. You need to talk to the people that
are in your life, whether being a family member,
a friend, you know a significant other and
basically set them aside and explain to them
what happens while your having a panic attack.
And what kind of things you respond to positively.
You know you're the one who's gonna know best
what things help and what things make it worse.
Now for me, I make sure to state that saying
things like andquot;calm downandquot; is extremely triggering
for me. I become more upset than I was before
and could actually cause me to be angry rather
than panicked or frightened.
So we don't wanna say stuff like that. Another
thing is I don't like to be touched. I don't
really, I'm not into physical contact and
that's a little bit less to do with my anxiety
more to do with my PTSD but when I'm in a
panic state I'm extremely vulnerable. So I
know most people have a tendency when they
want to comfort someone to put an arm around
them , to hold them, hug them I absolutely,
do not like that. And my panic will get that
much worse.
So you know I basically say like andquot;hey if you
see me starting to panic, you know, try not
to kind of touch me. Just kind of try to soothe
me with your words, so to speak.andquot; And this
is very important because it's going to help
not only the people that might be around you
when this is happening, but it's also gonna
kinda help future you to de-escalate from that
panic state.
You know, when you're you're up here you kinda
, you kinda can't handle things to the best
of your ability and you want to implement
these coping strategies but you just can't.
So you gotta kinda bring it it a little bit down.
Before you're able to kind of see if you can
do management of any kind.
And a support system can really be helpful.
So telling people what kind of words they
should say, what they shouldn't do, and shouldn't
say is really gonna help you out there. And
you know just let them know, let know if there's
something that will actually trigger you or
make things worse. You gotta set those boundaries.
You know, not everybody would know about me
that you know when I'm crying and it's getting
very, very intense that that I don't wanna
be hugged or touched or anything.
And sometimes I don't you know I don't like
people asking me questions it's just, it's
too overwhelming for me to think. I myself
don't even like for people to ask me to communicate
to them, because that's something that will
make the internal process that's going on
in my mind a much greater struggle.
So, just wanted to give you that little tip.
That you know setting your boundaries sorta
telling people like what your expectations
are and what kind of helps and doesn't help
when you are in a state of extreme anxiety.
You know it's really gonna help. It's really
gonna pay-off and I just encourage you to
try it out next time.
You know, like I said you know set someone
aside, say andquot;listen, I realize you've probably
seen things kinda get really bad for me. These
are the kind of things that help.andquot;
So I hope you enjoyed that tip for this week
and I will see you next time. Bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAK7Y3_xaZY