Anxiety
So this isnâ™t going to be fun, or interesting.
For either of us.
This is a video I feel like Iâ™ve needed
to make for quite a while now.
But itâ™s taken a lot.
Like, even just sitting here, with an empty
room, in front of a camera, Iâ¦
It probably took about ten minutes, to turn
this camera on and actually start recording.
So yeah. This is a video about anxiety.
As some of you may or may not know, Iâ™ve
struggled with anxiety issues on and off for
quite a while, probably since I was 15 or
16, I started getting panic attacks,
and itâ™s been a long and bumpy road since then.
Itâ™s linked in a lot with⦠Now I donâ™t
want to say depression?
Itâ™s just been, like, really low points,
when Iâ™ve not felt great.
My anxiety has been higher around times when
Iâ™ve not been feeling 100% happy or relaxed,
or just content with my life in general.
So I went to Trans Pride Brighton last weekend.
I was feeling okay about it. I knew that I
had to perform on stage, and I hadnâ™tâ¦
I hadnâ™t prepared enough, or at all, really.
Because, with my music lately, Iâ™ve not,
Iâ™ve not been feeling positive about it,
Iâ™ve not been feeling good about it.
So when it came around to the time that I
actually had to get up on stage,
I decided that I was going to tell them I can only play one song, I canâ™t go for the full 15 minute
slot Iâ™d been given.
I thought that was a good choice.
It was probably the worst choice ever to make,
ever.
Because I let my, I let my anxiety, and I
let my worry dictate my decisions, andâ¦
Iâ™m pretty sure Iâ™m, no, Iâ™m 100% sure
I gave the worst performance of my life.
That Iâ™ve ever given in the eight years
Iâ™ve been performing things.
You know, starting at year seven with secondary
school musical production when
I didnâ™t even have a solo, up until this day. That was the worst performance Iâ™ve ever given.
And it was bad for a lot of reasons. And I
know, that if Iâ™d have gone up there, if I'd have
sung three songs, that song wouldnâ™t have
sounded as bad as it did.
I cant. I canâ™t post that on the internet
now, I canâ™t put that up here with the vlog
that I did of the day,
which I havenâ™t even posted yet because
I feel bad. I feel like that should be
the middle section of the video, should be me on stage. It should be, you know, four minutes of me
singing a song, but I canâ™t put it in there,
because itâ™s so bad.
But for that whole day. If anybody saw me
there, I want to apologise.
Because for that whole day, really. I would look
at a crowd of people, and I would start to feel dizzy.
And I would start to feel really overwhelmed,
and there were people coming up and talking to us,
which was great, and I love that, and I love making conversation, but I felt like I couldnâ™t make conversation,
because I was so anxious, and I was so nervous,
I felt like I had to impress these people, like,
I had to prove that, I was funny, and I was entertaining, and I was dorky, just like I am on the internet,
but I wasnâ™t, I was just like, âœhi.......â¦â
And that was it. I managed, âœhiâ.
I think my reason for making this video is that
Summer in The City is less than two weeks away,
This time in two weeks, we will be there.
And we will be with you guys, in this huge space.
And Iâ™m just worried I wonâ™t be able to deal with it.
Like I physically wonâ™t be able to bring
myself to, to enjoy myself, and to do all the things that
I know I have to do, and I should do, and
I want to do.
And I feel like Iâ™m going to just, not do
them all together.
Like at Brighton I did it, but at a compromise.
But this time I feel like I just wonâ™t. I feel like Iâ™m just going to say, âœsorry, I can't do it.andquot;
I love going to huge events. Iâ™ve been going
to ComicCon since I was, like, 13.
And itâ™s always been the highlight of my year.
And yeah, sure, I used to get anxiety when
I was travelling there,
but by the time Iâ™d got there Iâ™d calmed
down enough, and I noticed that the crowds
of people werenâ™t that scary,
and now I feel like I just canâ™t do it.
Like Iâ™m going to walk into a room and someoneâ™s
going to point at us, and Iâ™m going to freak out.
I just. I want to feel like I can relax, and
I want to feel like I can have fun.
But Iâ™m so anxious about being anxious that
I canâ™t even get excited.
Every time someone mentions Summer in The
City I just, I think ...
âœ... Great. Yeah, thatâ™s coming up soonâ.
All in all, the kind of anxiety that I deal
with is very panic driven,
and when I start to feel uncomfortable, and when Iâ™m not at ease, and when Iâ™m worried about something,
I will freak out, I will have a panic attack,
I wonâ™t be able to breathe, I wonâ™t be
able to make conversation,
all Iâ™ll be thinking about is, âœwhen can
I get out of here?
When can I leave, and not be rude to people.
When can it be the most convenient for me
to go and find a quiet space
and sit there, for as long as I need toâ.
And sometimes, the â˜for as long as I need
to♠can be⦠infinite.
It can be that I canâ™t go back, into that, that space.
And I have, I have coping methods, for how
to bring myself down from a panic attack,
I can kind of stop a panic attack if I know
itâ™s going to happen,
but I canâ™t stop myself from feeling anxious.
Iâ™ve got no way of preventing that, Iâ™ve
got no way of dealing with that, and I know
I shouldnâ™t think about it, I dwell on it,
and I shouldnâ™tâ¦
I shouldnâ™t be anxious about being anxious,
but I canâ™t help it.
I just donâ™t want to be a disappointment.
And I know, I know I am capable of so much
better, but thereâ™s just something in the way.
And sometimes this anxiety is the reason that
I donâ™t, I donâ™t talk to people,
I donâ™t have conversations with my own friends.
I, I donâ™t socialise.
I donâ™t talk to people on the internet,
I donâ™t post videos, I donâ™t answer questions.
And I just curl up in my little bubble, and
for four days straight Iâ™ll
go to work, play video games, call Alex, and
sleep, and thatâ™s all I do,
because I donâ™t feel worthy enough... to ask
people for their time.
And I donâ™t feel like I have anything valuable
to say,
so, you know, when people are having a conversation
with me, and they ask me a question,
and I just donâ™t reply, itâ™s because I
feel like I donâ™t have an answer,
I donâ™t have a valuable thing to say to
that question.
So yeah, basically, I think thatâ™s all I
have to say about that topic?
This is probably going to be an ongoingâ¦
thing.
Iâ™ll probably make more videos about this
in the future, if you guys find it helpful
and useful to hear about.
This was just a rant, so I could get it out
of my system before SiTC,
so you kind of know whatâ™s going on with
me.
Cool. Thatâ™s done.
Peace out, bitches.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKzg3_mw9OA
How To Stop Anxiety, Treat Anxiety And How To deal With Anxiety or How To Overcome Anxiety
After having visited my site I can almost
imagine what your repetitive anxious thought
might be.
Maybe itâ™s a fear of:
-a panic attack.
-never being free of general anxiety.
-a bodily sensation that worries you.
-a fear of losing control to anxiety.
My name is Barry MCDonagh and I have successfully
taught thousands of people in over 30 different
countries, how to end general anxiety and
panic attacks. Whatever your particular fear
is, I want to share some tips and techniques
with you over the coming days that will not
only help you end these fears but also reduce
your general anxiety level dramatically.
After many years of coaching people to be
anxiety free, I have noticed that those who
experience panic attacks or general anxiety
almost always deal with the frequent occurrence
of anxious thoughts. Anxiety has a sneaky
way of seeding doubt regardless of whether
the fear is rational or irrational.
So what can be done for people who suffer
from repetitive anxious thoughts?
when you start to experience anxious thoughts,
it is very important not to force the thoughts
away.
Let the thoughts in. The more comfortable
you can become with them, the better. These
thoughts will never go away fully but what
you can learn is to change your reaction to
them. By changing your reaction to the anxious
thoughts you become free of them.
Once you establish a new way of reacting to
the thoughts it does not matter if you have
them or not. Your reaction is what defines
the whole experience (and that applies to
almost everything).
Everybody experiences fleeting thoughts that
many would consider scary or crazy. The difference
between most people and somebody who gets
caught up in them, is that the average person
sees them for exactly what they are, fleeting
anxious thoughts, and casually ignores them.
The anxious person is at a disadvantage as
they already have a certain level of anxiety
in their system. The thoughts easily spark
feelings of further anxiety which builds into
a cycle of fear. You break the cycle by changing
how you react to the fearful thought.
The key thing to remember is to:
Observe, Label, Watch, Move on
By practicing this approach you gradually
stop reacting with fear to the thought and
you learn to treat it as nothing more than
an odd peculiarity.
To Learn more about how to end general anxiety
and panic attacks visit the link below.
Thank You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RxYbsJ8UgM
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