Why am I so attached to female teachers? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
hey everybody happy Thursday
and when it's Thursday for those you that
don't know where I'm at? I'm on twitter.
So if you asked your questions using the #
KatiFAQ I have three of them
and I also have a journal topic and I
didn't write down who that came from. I
apologize, but thank you all for that.
and the people are still working upstairs
and their driving me crazy, crazy but I
tried to wait, still the banging , the
banging, what? So if you hear it that's
what's going on. Apparently the people
upstairs are getting a whole new those
lucky sons of bitches. Okay First question
Hey Kati I work at a clinic/hospital
setting and I 'm surround by doctors and
medical staff. My eating disorder is
really starting to get the best of me to
the point that a hospitalization might be
necessary. Do you think it would be
ok to tell my manager about what's going
on? We have a good relationship
and she's been a family friend even before
she became my boss. I know ultimately
it's up to me I just needing some input.
Thank you. I thought this was a good
question to answer because I've heard
from lots of you many questions about who
do I tell? Who do I have to tell? What
should I do if I want to go into recovery
to a treatment center, if I need to take
time off, I need to go on disability while
I do it there are a bunch of things that
can go on when we're really trying to get
help for our eating disorder,for our
self harm, for our anxiety, depression
when we're really taking um you know a
serious look at it and getting into some
kind of residential program and there are
a couple of things to consider #1
the only person that you have to tell
anything to is HR the Human Resources
within your company. They are the only
ones that need to know and there's
certain paperwork you fill out
you only have to tell them what
their paperwork requires. I'm sure each
state is probably different as to what
exactly they require, but I'd just follow
just what they ask for and that's it.
And if you don't want to tell other people
you don't have to. It's your own privacy
it's your own situation. Those are the
only people that need to know and
so they'll follow their paperwork
they'll let you get in treatment or get
on disability or whatever has to happen
short term disability umm yeah so
that's the only thing you have to do
now if you'd like to tell your boss
you can, and if this person, for this
situation it sounds like she is a family
friend so it sounds like it might be
something you feel comfortable and
want to talk to her about anyways, however
I always caution my clients on doing this
because it's something you want to
consider in the future if you want to
come back to this job you don't want
them treating you differently, you don't
them maybe knowing that information
later on it might make it hard for you,
umm you never know right
because sometimes people don't respond
well, some people have basis, some people
start treating us different or not giving
us certain task or whatever based on that
and if your not worried that' going to
happen and you still want to tell this
person, then I think that's fine
but if you're really are worried about
that and how it could really effect you l
later on umm in your career then I
might hold off ok I hope that makes sense
and helps. Question #2 hey Kati I have
had only a few sessions but emailing her
helps me, this is talking about a new
therapist. she told me that I could and
she wants me to, oh sorry this out of
order, I forgot that it did this, Here's
my question, they sent out of order, My
therapist keeps moving up my sessions
I email her because I am having panic
attacks and then she moves it, I've
only had a few sessions , but emailing
her does help me. She told me that I
could and she wants me to, is it bad
to have sessions move? Now I thought this
was a good question because this can
happen and I'v never thought about talking
about it and what we know research wise
about having set scheduled sessions, now
it shows that when we have a set time and
a date that each week, we go into therapy
on Tuesday's at 3 or whatever it is
it actually is best for us because oddly
psychologically before we're going into
therapy we wake up on Tuesday, we're like
oh today's is therapy day oh yeah I need
to prepare what I wanna, and we get
prepped for it, and we're ready for it
and by the time it actually happens
we know what we kinda want to say and
we get in this rhythm where that's the
day we talk about stuff and then we go
about our week and all week I'll
bring that up on Tuesday, ok make sure
then Tuesday we get prepped and you
can see how like subconsciously we
recognize a set schedule and it helps us
to make sure your prepared we know
what we want to talk about , we are
mentally ready to start talking about
stuff. It just shows that therapy
tends to be more successful when there's
a set day and time. Does that mean that
it always has to be and that it's bad
to get things moved up, no , do I
move sessions around, yes and the reason
being would be like, it sounds like this
may be the case, if a patient
is in crisis. I may do a phone session
on a Saturday because I you know feel
like you need to talk, I feel like
I need to talk to them , they need to talk
to me. We need to touch base make
sure everything's okay and that would
be a reason I'd move things around
umm so is it bad, no. if your in crisis
utilize your therapist, that's what their
there for, so if you really need the
support don't shy away from it for fear
that it will cause other problems later
but once the crisis do die down and things
are more steady then I would try
to get into regular schedule. okay , I
hope that makes sense.
That's just one of those things I thought
that would be cool to talk about.
Okay, question #3 Hey Kati, I wasn't
comfortable tweeting you my question
so I hope the DM's are ok. they
definitely are. Really (hammering sounds)
I'm almost done. Why am I so attached
to female teachers? I'm in 11th grade
and ever since 9th grade I've found
myself becoming very close to one
teacher each year. I will often
go to them for advise, yearn for attention
and this has been driving me crazy
for months because I just feel like I'm
bothering them although they're nothing
but nice to me . thanks love your videos.
well, thank you. So I thought this was
really interesting. I get a lot of
questions about this, about attachment .
About really feeling like you really need
attention. if from male or female or
someone that's just an adult humm and
then just yearning for more of their
attention. Then the guilt and shame that
kinda tends to come along
with it feeling like your bothering them
like your gonna push them away
and I don't know everyone's exact
situation and this isn't true for everyone
but this is true for a lot of my boderline
personality disorder patients because
attachment, as I talk about in my video
if your curious what I'm talking about
you can search for that on YouTube
using my name Kati Morton, borderline
personality disorder and pull it up. I
talk about the criteria of it and
attachment is a big portion of that
now that being said, so it could
be that reason. I'm not sure
it also could be that you may not
have received attention from your mother
or whoever your care giver was
a female, you didn't have that and so
something that's really unique and
interesting about humans is that what
we don't get, but we strive for as
like we thrive for it as children, like
whether it's attention, it's love, it's
care, it's whatever we search it out
relentlessly. Where ever we are
we tried to find it. We try to get our
needs met and that's what makes us so
adaptable and so wonderful. We fight
and work to get our needs met. However
we can and I have many clients
who've talked about it being teachers
it being leaders in church, it being
a friends mother that they act
like it's their own mother
and there's this old horrifically like
not safe animals, i'm sure they wouldn't
let you do it now, but it was
a study they did back in the day
it's called like the wire monkeys it was
like a wire mother and they called the
good enough mother and sadly if we don't
get our needs met when we're young
in our first years, when we form
attachments, secure attachments, or
insecure attachments to our caregiver
if we don't form a secure attachment
we seek out a good enough mother
a good enough attachment person all the
time, throughout our life and is that
necessarily a bad thing? Not really
but then one thing that I would caution
you against is just being careful about
who that is. Make sure the person is kind,
they are caring, they are someone we
can look up to, they are a true adult
a true caring person. That would be my
biggest concern. So just make sure that
they're good people and that your getting
your needs met. And it may be a good idea
for you to seek out hum seeing a school
counselor. So you can have like
consistent sessions with someone and
you can build that relationship that way.
Okay and if any
of you have helpful hints
or things that have worked for you
If you've gone through
something like this
let us know below. Okay. Now
the journal topic is really
cool and one of my
favorite youtubsers Laura Lejeune
made a video and it's called
I think it's called, andquot;Thank you bodyandquot;.
is her video and I have the link
I'm gonna put it below in the description
but the journal topic idea said thanking
your body parts and what they do
for you and think of that when you want
to criticize your appearance, your
body' s functional, it's not an ornament
and the person that sent this to me
said their finding this really, really
helpful and I thought this was such a
cool idea and if you watch Laura
Lejeune's video which you can click the
link humm it's really cool she goes
through her eye, her mouth, her teeth,
her hair and all the reasons she's really
thankful to have those things and what
purpose they serve and how they function
for her and it can really honestly help
us give our body a little love verses
all the criticizing that we do to it all
the time. I'm I right? ok so, have a
wonderful evening. I will see you all
tomorrow cause guess what day is
it andquot;it's finally Fridayandquot;and so I'll be on
Facebook so ask your questions there
using the #KatiFAQ. bye
Subtitles by the Amara.org community
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcMw_Zd2iaY
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsjgaZmYcIE
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